With its well-executed combination of mesmerizing imagery and melodies, Cruel World became a catalyst in reconnecting Humberstone to her childhood dreams and desires. Through inspiration from tales like Alice in Wonderland or Edward Scissorhands, she transmits her sensitivity into nostalgia – detaching from the world around her. In the process however, Humberstone finds herself with a newfound sense of willingness to let go and accept what can’t be controlled. 

It’s impossible to ignore the high-energy atmosphere when Holly and I chat at Coachella. Reigning in the day with both Cruel World’s release and her second appearance at the festival, she looks undeniably radiant. Our conversation sees us constantly meeting each other halfway, from her apologizing to me about jetlag clouding her thoughts while I gather myself after sprinting across the festival grounds to our interview from Slayyyter’s set. Once we finish repeatedly complimenting each other’s outfits, Holly offers an introspective glimpse into the complex whimsy of Cruel World.

RANGE contributor Izzy Petraglia with Holly Humberstone at Coachella.

I read that throughout the album process there was some anxiety or an unsettling feeling that came with losing an anchor, such as losing your first love and moving out of your childhood home. How did working on Cruel World allow you to confront and find comfort within those feelings?

I’m somebody who’s very sensitive; and I feel like for any creative person, we’re very affected by our surroundings and what’s physically happening around us. During the process of writing the album, from when we started to when we finished, everything around me was different. Part of that was going back and forth from the Midlands to London–packing away my childhood home.

It was a really cathartic, nostalgic, and lovely experience getting that time there. That’s always been home and my safe zone that I can escape to where nothing else really matters anymore. I can just revert back to being a kid. 

I could never visualize my life without that. The only other constant thing in my life is writing and escaping to that space. I feel like it’s probably the same for anybody who has a creative outlet that’s so personal to them. Writing gets me through everything. It’s my way of processing the world around me and understanding other people even sometimes.

You can almost look at songwriting as journaling in a way too. It’s so cool to look at music as journal entries.

100%, it’s totally that.

It becomes like a diary, except very public obviously.

Yeah, of course. It’s my safe space where I can figure shit out that’s happening, like changes, and I feel it’s also a way for me to romanticize my life as well. To build a world for me to exist in and escape into for a little while. So yeah, writing the album I’ve 100% learned so much about myself through the process. It’s my creative escape. Music right now is so important, more than ever because the world is extremely confusing, scary, and strange. I think it’s okay to be overwhelmed by it. Or to be confused, to not really understand, and to be overstimulated.

It’s natural for you to have those safe spaces where you revert back to being a child or doing something that feels familiar to find comfort or protection. I do feel like writing songs is my form of protection. It feels like a shield and a space where I can exist in, where I can control what’s happening, and I can write my own take on whatever’s happening. Sorry, long-winded answer.

I love a long-winded answer! Every time I ask those sorts of questions, I almost expect them.

You know it’s going to be a spiel, never just a “yes”.

Exactly! Can you recall a moment in your creative process where the feeling mimicked the “anchor” you reference in the album? 

I can only really speak for myself and my process, but…

And that’s what we want to hear about!

Right, that’s what it’s about!

That’s what the fans want to hear. 

Totally. Most of the time when I go to the studio, I come out with nothing. It’s probably a five or 10% hit rate. For most of the past two years, I’ve been writing songs that I don’t really feel anything, I don’t know. The songs that make the final cut and make the album at the end are the songs where I felt that [anchor] and I’ve found that feeling. I feel like you know quite early on in the song and in the creative process whether it’s going to be something that I think that fans will relate to or not.

It’s about a feeling that you get – that feeling of familiarity and home. It’s just there. I’m always chasing that feeling in the studio. And it’s the best feeling in the world when I get there and when the other writers in the room are all on the same page. We’re all like “This is a song already,” even though we’ve got one line, or a bit of a verse or something. It’s clear that a song is going to be a song on the album even from a tiny bit. Then it’s about waiting for the rest of the song to find its way to you. Songwriting is chaos. A lot of people ask me “What’s your process?” and I don’t really know.

It’s not a linear thing. I’ve noticed for some people that changing up routine is a big part of how they can actually write songs–that it’s such a different process every time. 

It totally is.

Also, I keep getting distracted by how beautiful your eyes are. It’s insane.

Thank you queen! Likewise, I love the little speckles that you’ve got. That’s a blessing. But yeah, I think it’s about showing up and trying. It’s soul-crushing as fuck when you don’t get anything for a month. It’s obviously like “Fuck, it’s the one thing that I’m supposed to be able to do and for some reason I can’t,” and I always feel like that. I think I’ve come to terms with that being part of the process. It wouldn’t be as special if you were getting a song every week or something like that. I write really, really slowly. It’s about showing up and being open to letting it happen. 

Working with people that you trust and that you can be open and vulnerable with is also extremely important for me. I’ve done a ton of writing with people that I didn’t gel with, and that’s okay. It’s not going to work with everyone and it shouldn’t be that deep, but you take it personally as a sensitive person, you know? But yeah, it’s about showing up, trusting the process, and being like “This is kind of out of my control. I’ve just got to show up and be open to ideas.”