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Kimmortal Paints With Emotions On "I Can't Trust You"

Changing gears to a soulful ballad, the Vancouver-based artist/rapper unpacks a toxic family relationship.

by Johnny Papan

Photo by Brandon Fletcher

Kimmortal is renowned for their highly conceptual genre-bending musical explorations and lyrical intricacies. The queer non-binary filipinx rapper shows defiance through spoken word and pop-layered hip-hop jams; their signature subversive gusto only complemented with a down-to-earth, human vulnerability.

This is especially apparent in their latest video single, “I Can’t Trust You,” where the Vancouver-based artist switches gears from their impeccable flow to a soulful ballad, sharing their own real-world experiences and emotions about a toxic family relationship. 

Recorded on their cell phone and produced by Elisa Pangsaeng, who has worked with a prolific roster of Canadian artists, including Yukon Blond, Kinnie Starr, and Said the Whale, Kimmortal splays emotion into the track in its rawest form. It’s an intimate, melancholic expression.  “It’s one of those quiet songs I wrote to myself to process essentially a rift within my family,” Kimmortal says. “This song is about coming to terms with change, grief and remembering that I don’t have to inherit pain and hold it in me.”

“I Can’t Trust You” is both reflective and healing for the artist. The video showcases Kimmortal writing the phrase “I can’t trust you” over a white wall over and over again, only to repaint the wall to a clean slate and do it all over once again. This represents an all-too-familiar relationship dynamic: one person being let down over and over again, starting fresh through forgiveness and, eventually, facing the same repetitive cycle. 

At the end of the video, Kimmortal writes “And I, Kim, let go” allowing themself to move forward and not stay tied to holding onto a relationship that cannot be sustained without trust. A therapeutic tale of reconciliation within one’s own mind which the listener is able to process alongside Kimmortal thanks to this achingly beautiful track.