1. Aggressive Cleaning
2. Talk Instead
3. Paint Night!
4. Just Do a Podcast
5. Pre-Packaged (Sanitized) Insanity
Go to Canadian Tire and purchase a Cuisinart vacuum sealer, or borrow one from your weed dealer. Seal beer spills, portions of tomato sauce “blood,” and pieces of trash into individual vacuum packs; wipe with disinfectant towelettes and hand out to your audience. When they get home they’ll be just as surprised and maybe slightly annoyed to open their stage gimmick and throw it on their own face — just as if they were at the show.