Scorpio

(Oct. 23 – Nov. 21)

Perfection-obsessed and sixth-sense-on-overdrive weirdos, you are Glitter energy incarnate: misunderstood, dragged to filth, then reborn as a cultural redemption arc. When Mariah’s 2001 flop—unfortunately released on Sept. 11, 2001—got dragged harder than a Mercury retrograde, she didn’t crumble—she plotted. Years later, in 2005, The Emancipation of Mimi dropped, rewriting her legacy. That’s the Scorpio playbook: total annihilation followed by total domination. You don’t bounce back—you rise from the ashes in a rhinestone bodysuit while your haters choke on confetti. Anyone doubting you this month? Just whisper “justice for Glitter” and keep shining.

Sagittarius

(Nov. 22 – Dec. 21)

You are the living embodiment of Mariah showing up unannounced on MTV’s Total Request Live with an ice cream cart, a glittery tank top, and no plan in sight. Free-spirited, a touch messy, allergic to structure—you thrive on the thrill of uncertainty. When vibes shift, you don’t explain yourself; you exit stage left mid-interview and let the world catch up later. This month, lean into that glorious unpredictability: say yes without overthinking, overpack your carry-on, and do something that makes your group chat collectively go “wait… what?” You’re not off the rails. You are the rails.

Capricorn

(Dec. 22 – Jan. 19)

Mariah didn’t just sing her hits—she owned them. When she reclaimed her masters and subtly secured her generational bag, it wasn’t ego—it was Capricorn gospel. Success isn’t loud; it’s contractual. The climb is calculated, the manicure is flawless, and the meeting starts when you arrive. This month, channel that boss-level poise: set the terms, sign your own checks, and let the receipts do the talking. The hustle is eternal—and so is the glamour.

 

Aquarius

(Jan. 20 – Feb. 18)

When Mariah’s mic failed and the monitors died during her New Year’s Eve 2017 performance, she didn’t freak out (in the moment, at least)—she sipped her tea, rolled her eyes, and let the havoc unfold. That’s the Aquarius way. While everyone else scrambles, you’re already narrating the meltdown like it’s performance art. This month, lean into that futuristic cool—don’t fix the glitch, be the glitch. Innovation thrives in discomfort, and honestly, making history is way more fun than chasing perfection.

Pisces

(Feb. 19 – March 20)

Mariah literally spends half of her music videos in a bubble bath, and somehow it works—utterly untouchable, sparkling perfection. That’s you, Pisces: dreamy, sensual, and blissfully untethered from reality. While the world rushes around, float through life Mariah-style: fill the tub, light the candles, and let everything else blur into background noise. Emotion trumps logic, aesthetics are law, and if anyone asks why you’re glowing, just shrug and hum the opening of “Shake It Off.”

Aries

(March 21 – April 19)

Mid-interview, Mariah Carey gets asked about J.Lo. One sentence later: history. “I don’t know her.” No side-eyes, no awkward pauses, no disclaimers—just pure Aries shade, direct and terrifying. This month, embody that fearless dismissal. Don’t waste energy explaining yourself to people who don’t matter. Cut through the noise, make your boundaries crystal clear, and bonus points for a sly smirk or perfectly timed sip of tea.

 

Taurus

(April 20 – May 20)

When Mariah demanded a full lighting crew for a radio interview—a medium that uses zero cameras—she wasn’t being extra. She was being prepared. That’s Taurus: indulgent and allergic to half-effort. This month, don’t just show up—arrive pre-lit, make-up done, and unmistakably framed for success. Some may call it stubbornness, but to you it’s just standards. If someone complains that you’re “doing too much,” smile and remind them: good lighting is self-care.

 

Gemini

(May 21 – June 20)

The Emancipation of Mimi wasn’t just a comeback—it was a cultural reset. Mariah didn’t defend herself amidst “flop” allegations; she reminded the world that she was, and always will be, the moment. That’s your mission this month: effortlessly spinning chaos into opportunity. You’re a master of reinvention, the living embodiment of “oh, you thought I was done?” This isn’t about proving anyone wrong—it’s about proving yourself right. Release your own metaphorical Mimi: the version of you secretly plotting in the wings, waiting for your perfectly timed reinvention.

Cancer

(June 21 – July 22)

Naming your children Moroccan and Monroe is the kind of move that makes everyone pause, blink, and silently take notes. Cancer, you’re sentimental yet fiercely protective and just a bit dramatic. This month, lean into that tender-but-bold vibe: nurture your inner circle but sprinkle in eccentricity. Your instincts are sharp, loyalty unmatched, and your taste? Iconic. Whether orchestrating a family dinner or a low-key office coup, do it with Mariah-level flair that only you can pull off. Eyebrows may raise, but that’s just admiration in disguise.

 

Leo

(July 23 – Aug. 22)

Leo, birthdays are for mortals. Mariah said it herself: she doesn’t do birthdays—she does anniversaries. Every year is an event, every outfit a production, every entrance a headline. In the weeks ahead, treat your wins like award-winning performances. Finish that project or ace that presentation. The ordinary is forbidden, and everyone’s attention? Mandatory. If anyone is stealing the spotlight this month, it might as well be you.

 

Virgo

(Aug. 23 – Sept. 22)

Mariah didn’t just write a Christmas hit—she staged an annual, seasonal takeover with “All I Want for Christmas Is You.” Charm, nostalgia, earworm power—decades later, it still rules the charts. That’s the energy you need to channel this month: calculated and impossible to ignore. Every detail matters, from tiny notes in your plan to the sparkle you leave behind. You’re orchestrating, mastering, and quietly winning while the world scrambles to keep up. Your empire lives in the details—and honey, everyone is noticing.

Libra

(Sept. 23 – Oct. 22)

Libra, you are Mariah strutting through MTV Cribs with a closet so vast it deserves its own postal code. Outfit changes mid-tour? Naturally. Breakfast in Swarovski? Obviously. Dramatic entrances for everything? Absolutely. This month, embrace your inner Mariah-level flair: orchestrate your life like a production, make effortless choices that secretly require three assistants and minor sorcery. People might whisper “extra,” but that’s just code for “teach us your secrets.” Balance isn’t just peace—it’s keeping everyone slightly off-kilter while you glide through like the diva you are.